


Second Year Slut Squadron

by NeonSauce



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: ???? - Freeform, Chatlogs, M/M, More characters to be added, SECOND YEARS NEED MORE LOVE, Texting, group chats, i have so much to do this is pointless o well, overuse of the word slut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-08-29 17:53:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8499502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonSauce/pseuds/NeonSauce
Summary: Lean Mean Meme Machine: oh shit Hisashi is getting some fucking nice broKino: at least SOMEONE is supportive of my accomplishmentsGucci Gucci: dont u have two boyfriends to give you dick????Nari: yeah but Sashi’s a slut lmaoThe Thrill Of The Kill: i thnik i ffcking dieded i cnt a br e a t h eSaltyshima: jfc what is this relationshipGucci Gucci: goals tbhEnno: Sashi what the fuck--------------------------------------------AKA, I love the second years and this is my way of giving them more love





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Nari changed the chat name to “Dicking of a life time”**
> 
> **Kino:** IM

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is a severe lack of ennokinonari and i am Disappointed

**Chat Name: Slut Squadron  
Members: Kino (Admin), Nari (Admin), Enno (Admin)**

**Kino:** _du f e_ im so fucking g a y holy shit

 **Nari:** y are u such a hoe

 **Kino:** sqUARE UP KAZU

 **Enno:** its 2 am why are we talking about how Sashi is a harlot???? this is a known fact?????

 **Kino:** thsi is homophobia

 **Nari:** wat

 **Kino:** im gay and ur all so fucjng R U D E

 **Enno:** fucjng

 **Nari:** fucjng

 **Kino:** ok but real talk, i wnat fukurodanis ace to deck me in the f a ce

 **Nari:** is this thirst or self loathing

 **Kino:** yes

 **Enno:** shit dude thats some hashtag Relatable content

 **Nari:** did

 **Nari:** did u just type out hashtag

 **Enno:** my lil brother changed my keyboard settings shut up baldy

 **Nari:** OK WOW

 **Kino:** chikara with the fucking s al t

 **Enno:** Sashi ive got akaashi’s number

 **Kino:** what does taht have to do with anything

 **Enno:** i could get Bokuto’s number though him

 **Kino:** BABE I LOVE YOU YOURE ONE OF MY FAV BOYFRIENDS 

**Nari:** :(

 **Kino:** Kazu youre my other fav boyfriend

 **Nari:** :D

 **Enno:** how did we manage to date kazu hes too pure 

**Kino:** i know we’re so lucky that an actual angel has graced us with his beauty

 **Enno:** like im a bucket o’ salt and negativity and spite

 **Kino:** im a literal flaming pile of garbage

 **Enno:** youre too sweet, too pure, too good for this world kazu

 **Nari:** I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH DONT EVER SAY THAT YOURE NOT OWRTH ME CHIKA YOURE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN AND YOURE ADORABLE AND YOURE SO RESPONSIBLE AND CARING AND YOUR SO FUCKING PRETTY AND SASHI IS SO HAPPY AND FILLED WITH LIFE AND I LOVE HIM AND HIS SMILE COULD LIGHT UP A ROOM FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT NOT WORTHY SHIT

 **Kino:** IM

 **Enno:** !!!!!!

 **Nari:** i love you guys so much like holy f uc k

 **Kino:** y are we all so fucking gay

 **Enno:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Nari:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chat Name: KARASUNOOOOO FIGHT!!!!  
Members: Deadchi (Admin), Suga Sweet ;), A. Azumane, Lean Mean Meme Machine, The Thrill Of The Kill, Kino, Nari, Enno, Ka-gay-ama, LITTLE GIANT, Saltyshima, Gucci Gucci, Yacchan!, Kiyoko**

**Deadchi:** why the hell was your first reaction to get a knife

 **Lean Mean Meme Machine:** im gonna admit, i panicked

 **Nari:** what would a knife do against twenty thousand wasps?????

 **A. Azumane:** Why has the number of wasps slowly increased over the story?

 **LITTLE GIANT:** NOYASAN WHAT HAPPENED NEXT

 **The Thrill Of The Kill:** he called me and started crying lmao

 **Lean Mean Meme Machine:** B R O

 **Lean Mean Meme Machine:** HOW COULD YOU

 **The Thrill Of The Kill:** IT WAS FUCKING FUNNY DUDE

 **Saltyshima:** Woooow Noyasan, that’s rather lame isn’t it?

 **Gucci Gucci:** fucking nice kill tsukki

 **Kino:** guess whos getting dick today ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Deadchi:** k i n o s h i t a

 **The Thrill Of The Kill:** IM FUCKING

 **A. Azumane:** What!?

 **Kino:** f u c k

 **Nari:** im cryng there are tears in my eyes holy shit 

**Kino has left “KARASUNOOOOO FIGHT!!!!”**

**Gucci Gucci:** there he go

 **Saltyshima:** I can’t believe Kinoshita-san is fucking d e a d

 **LITTLE GIANT:** D:

**Kino has been added to “KARASUNOOOOO FIGHT!!!!”**

**Kino:** i imagine death so much it feels more like a memory

 **Lean Mean Meme Machine:** oh shit Hisashi is getting some fucking nice bro

 **Kino:** at least SOMEONE is supportive of my accomplishments

 **Gucci Gucci:** dont u have two boyfriends to give you dick????

 **Nari:** yeah but Sashi’s a slut lmao

 **The Thrill Of The Kill:** i thnik i ffcking dieded i cnt a br e a t h e

 **Saltyshima:** jfc what is this relationship

 **Gucci Gucci:** goals tbh

 **Enno:** Sashi what the fuck

 **LITTLE GIANT:** _D:_

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chat Name: Slut Squadron  
Members: Kino (Admin), Nari (Admin), Enno (Admin)**

**Kino:** sORRY

 **Enno:** its fine??? dont worry abt it babe

 **Nari:** ye it was just funny as fuck

 **Enno:** but srsly ur getting dick??? ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

 **Kino:** Marry me

 **Nari:** Marry me

 **Nari:** fuCKING

 **Kino:** ARE WE THE SAME PERSON

 **Enno:** ohmygooood

 **Nari:** fuck i think we killed Chika

 **Enno:** im good

 **Enno:** i just

 **Enno:** !!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Kino:** ur so precious omg where tf are you i wanna smooch you

 **Nari:** arent u getting dick tonight

 **Kino:** oh fuck dude ur right smooch him for me babe

 **Nari:** u got it babe

 **Enno:** im at the library right now and im just fucking dying because of you two ive never been so red in my l if e 

**Nari:** ur adorable i love you so much

 **Kino:** now i kinda wish i was getting dick tomorrow i wanna kiss you real bad

 **Enno:** stop please the librarian thinks im gonna combust and i think i might

 **Nari:** tell us abt the dick Sashi

 **Kino:** ok so i texted Bokuto and i was like “hey” and he was really cute and excited to talk to me nd we talked for a while an then i was like “so if i said i wanted to ride u like a fucking carousel what would u say” and he said

 **Kino:** word for word

 **Kino:** “well id tell you that id be very pleased if your ass could allow my dick to be your seat”

 **Enno:** JESUS CH R IS T

 **Nari:** fuckign smooth oh my god

 **Kino:** so now im on a train to tokyo to get the dicking of a life time

**Nari changed the chat name to “Dicking of a life time”**

**Kino:** IM

 **Enno:** tell us about the dicking later

 **Kino:** you bet your cute round butt i will

 **Enno:** IS IT COMPLIMENT ENNOSHITA UNTIL HES A FUCKING TOMATO DAY OR WHAT

 **Nari:** man i wish everyday was youre so cute when you blush

 **Enno:** fbhehdgffn

**Enno has left “Dicking of a life time”**

**Enno has been added to “Dicking of a life time”**

**Enno:** I cant handle this I literally cant im dead and dying and v gay

 **Enno:** u two are bullies

 **Enno:** love you

 **Nari:** :D!!

 **Kino:** <3333

 **Kino:** O FUCK IM ALMOST THERE BOI IM BOUT TO GET THAT TOKYO DICK CATCH YA LATER

 **Nari:** there he go

 **Enno:** /wipes tear from eye/ he took that dick harder than anyone ever could

 **Nari:** i love you so much what library are you at im coming to smooch you

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chat Name: KARASUNOOOOO FIGHT!!!!  
Members: Deadchi (Admin), Suga Sweet ;), A. Azumane, Lean Mean Meme Machine, The Thrill Of The Kill, Kino, Nari, Enno, Ka-gay-ama, LITTLE GIANT, Saltyshima, Gucci Gucci, Yacchan!, Kiyoko**

**Suga Sweet ;):** kinoshita!!! are you going to be at morning practice

 **Suga Sweet ;):** we’re starting in 20 min, you should hurry

 **Kino:** im not gonna be there

 **Ka-gay-ama:** does this have anything to do with the dick you were going to get yesterday

 **Gucci Gucci:** LMAO

 **Lean Mean Meme Machine:** kageyama youre a fucking hero

 **Ka-gay-ama:** ???

 **Ka-gay-ama:** thank you???

 **Kino:** ehhhhhhh kinda

 **Kino:** im in tokyo right now

 **A. Azumane** Why are you in Tokyo?

 **Deadchi:** did

 **Deadchi:** did you go to tokyo to get laid

 **The Thrill Of The Kill:** OK BUT LITERALLY S A ME 

**Suga Sweet ;):** KINOSHITA HISASHI WHY WOULD YOU GO ALL THE WAY TO TOKYO FOR A DICKING YOU HAVE TWO BOYFRIENDS WHO ARE WILLING TO DO THE SAME FOR YOU

 **Kino:** id travel to the sun to get a dicking from bokuto kotarou 

**Deadchi:** YOU FUCKED BOKUTO

 **Kino:** no, bokuto fucked me, god captain get ur facts straight smh

 **Saltyshima:** is there anything straight about this situation

 **Kino:** *get ur facts gay smh

 **Saltyshima:** there we go

 **Kiyoko:** kinoshita nice receive

 **Kino:** IM FUCKING DEAD G O O D B Y E 

**Deadchi:** @enno @nari wtf is your boyfriend doing

 **Nari:** new phone who dis

 **Enno:** gotta fucking blast my man

 **Kino:** HWAT THE FUCK DONT ABANDON ME YOU SLUTS

 **The Thrill Of The Kill:** kino youre the biggest slut of them all

 **Kino:** fukc you got me

 **Saltyshima:** jesus christ

 **Ka-gay-ama:** clearly we all need him

 **Deadchi:** im gonna have an aneurysm i stg

 **A. Azumane** Why are we like this?

 **Gucci Gucci:** who knows my guy

 **Suga Sweet ;):** im a good person i dont deserve this

 **Deadchi:** no ur not lmao

 **Suga Sweet ;):** WOW RUDE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am working on like 46383648 other things why did I write this???? the world may never know  
> updates arent gonna be regular cause of this


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Haha Then What ;):** dude that was fucking slick but you just outed yourself to the entire chat through roast
> 
> **Shiraboob:** FUCK NOT AGAIN
> 
> **Haha Then What ;):** YOUVE OUTED YOURSELF THROUGH ROAST BEFORE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> people???? actually like this???? this is just me shitposting what the fuckle

**Chat Name: The Second Coming  
Members: Enno (Admin), TigerTora, Deserves Better, Haha Then What ;), Futacutie, Demon Puff, Shiraboob**

**Deserves Better:** ennoshita next time your boyfriend comes to tokyo to fuck bokuto let me know i didnt wanna know about bokuto’s sexual escapades

**Haha Then What ;):** LMAOOO

**Futacutie:** which boyfriend

**Deserves Better:** the benchwarmer

**Futacutie:** that could be either of them

**Enno:** it was hisashi, and sorry akaashi, ill give you a heads up next time

**Enno:** the dicking was kinda last minute

**TigerTora:** “the dicking”

**Enno:** it was apparently a very good dicking

**Shiraboob:** so youre in an open poly relationship?

**Enno:** ye, im dating number 7 and 8 from my team

**Shiraboob:** nice

**Demon Puff:** man enno how’d you land two bfs

**Haha Then What ;):** we could make it three if you wanted ;))))

**Enno:** dont fucking wink at me

**TigerTora:** wow get fucking shredded teru

**Enno:** also ive literally known kazu and sashi since birth like

**Enno:** our parents were friends in highschool and they all just got together and our moms decided to have kids around the same time so our births were planned to be in the same year and we grew up together

**Enno:** There was no confession or anything it was just like one day in middle school kazu was like “are we dating or friends” and sashi and i both said “i hope we’re dating” and that was it

**Shiraboob:** thats

**Shiraboob:** really cute

**Demon Puff:** wow who knew your cold dead heart was capable of feeling emotion

**Shiraboob:** yahaba i hope you get you get fiery poops 

**Deserves Better:** that’s specific

**Futacutie:** im actually dying shirabu what the fuck

**Demon Puff:** y 

**Shiraboob:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Demon Puff:** i hope you get your dick caught in the zipper next time you pee

**Shiraboob:** JOKES ON YOU I DONT HAVE A DICK KISS MY TRANS ASS

**TigerTora:** YAHABA YOU GOT P L A Y E D MY MAN

**Demon Puff:** fcCUK

**Enno:** im cackling holy shit

**Haha Then What ;):** dude that was fucking slick but you just outed yourself to the entire chat through roast

**Shiraboob:** FUCK NOT AGAIN

**Haha Then What ;):** YOUVE OUTED YOURSELF THROUGH ROAST BEFORE

**Shiraboob:** im a trans guy, honestly youve met me as a guy so there’s no problems, he/him always ye

**Enno:** does anyone else wanna come out while we’re at it

**Deserves Better:** nonbinary, he/him is fine but they/them feels better

**Futacutie:** im kinda??? genderfluid???? maybe?????????????

**Futacutie:** i dunno man ill tell u if im feeling off with pronouns but im literally too tired to bother w/ that

**Demon Puff:** honestly same

**TigerTora:** im glad we had this heart to heart

**TigerTora:** i feel like i kno u all so much better

**Haha Then What ;):** u wanna get to kno me better ;)))))))))))))

**Deserves Better:** choke

**Haha Then What ;):** harder daddy

**Enno:** oh my g o d

**Haha Then What ;):** thats what youll be screaming 2nite

**Demon Puff:** PETITION FOR TERUSHIMA YUUJI TO S T O P

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chat Name: Dicking of a life time  
Members: Kino (Admin), Nari (Admin), Enno (Admin)**

**Nari:** do you ever just

**Nari:** /loud sighing/ t h i g h s

**Kino:** ye

**Enno:** ye

**Nari:** good talk

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chat Name: KARASUNOOOOO FIGHT!!!  
Members: Deadchi (Admin), Suga Sweet ;), A. Azumane, Lean Mean Meme Machine, The Thrill Of The Kill, Kino, Nari, Enno, Ka-gay-ama, LITTLE GIANT, Saltyshima, Gucci Gucci, Yacchan!, Kiyoko**

**The Thrill Of The Kill has changed the chat name to “We Dem Crois”**

**Gucci Gucci:** y

**The Thrill Of The Kill:** Crois (crow bois)

**Gucci Gucci:** that

**Gucci Gucci:** thats actually p good fuck

**The Thrill Of The Kill:** /bows/

**A. Azumane:** Isn’t it spelt boys? If you wanted to make the joke wouldn’t the chat name be “We Dem Croys”?

**The Thrill Of The Kill:** that’s the meme asahi-san

**A. Azumane:** I’ve been meaning to ask this, but what’s a meme?

**Kino:** VHAVGFAVGQIRQ

**Gucci Gucci:** this is tsukishima, i was going to ask why yamaguchi is laughing so hard hes crying but now i see

**The Thrill Of The Kill:** /inhales/

**The Thrill Of The Kill:** B O I

**A. Azumane:** Why’d you spell it like that?

**Saltyshima:** i 

**Saltyshima:** i dont know where to begin

**A. Azumane:** Can someone explain this to me?

**Deadchi:** accept your fate Asahi

**Deadchi:** welcome to hell

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Chat Name: Dicking of a life time  
Members: Kino (Admin), Nari (Admin), Enno (Admin)**

**Nari:** I really want garlic bread

**Kino:** y

**Nari:** i dunno i just

**Nari:** I really want garlic bread 

**Enno:** babe its 3 am 

**Nari:** and 

**Enno:** ur parents would get mad if I came over rn 

**Kino:** wait r u planning on bringing him garlic bread 

**Enno:** if my bf wants garlic bread im gonna get him garlic bread what kind of man do you take me for hisashi 

**Kino:** come over to my house im home alone 

**Enno:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**Nari:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**Kino:** TO EAT GARLIC BREAD YOU FILTHY HEATHENS JESUS 

**Nari:** r u serious 

**Kino:** hell yea babe i have YOI queued 2 i know u wanted to watch it we can eat garlic bread and marathon it 

**Enno:** we dont have practice or school tmrw either 

**Kino:** door’s open 

**Nari:** i started crying a little bit i cant believe im so #blessed to have two beautiful bfs that will marathon anime w/ me and eat garlic bread at 3 am 

**Kino:** what type of bfs would we be if we DIDNT do this 

**Enno:** ^^^^^ 

**Nari:** <3!!!! 

**Kino:** your adorable 

**Nari:** what about my adorable 

**Kino:** alright bitch 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love the 2nd year captain squad sm they had to be in a chapter
> 
> hope you enjoyed me essentially ejaculating memes and publishing it to cope with my depression ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @ neonsauce.tumblr.com i reblog a lot of haikyuu stuff plus some other shit /finger guns/


End file.
